In our store we had all sorts of props lying around. There were old promotional materials, unused video boxes, books, magazines and an assortment of discarded holiday decorations. One such ornament was a pair of plastic rats left-over from Halloween. These rats can be found every year at most holiday specialty stores like Halloween Adventure. The rats had a device inside that made a high-pitched squeak sound when squeezed. At our store the pair of rodents became an unofficial alarm to be sounded whenever a new or resident freak customer entered the store. Our store attracted many freaks in all shapes and sizes. There were the usual time-bandits, we had many of those. Time-bandits in our store usually came in bearing long lists of movies, all of which had never been or never will be available on home video. Then there were the truly freakish customers with actual physical or mental defects. Don't get me wrong, we were tolerant at our store and treated everyone with respect, but some of our freaks were truly unique. There was "Decaying Woman", an elderly lady who was literally decaying before our eyes. Each week she would leave not only old yellowed newspaper articles on the counter, but she would also leave bits of dead skin. Honestly! You had to see it to believe! Technically she was also a time-bandit as well, due to the large amounts of movie reviews (those discarded newspaper articles) she would go through looking for a movie to rent. Then there were the freakish customers who wanted physical contact of some kind. An obese unkempt man once asked me to help pull his pants up after his suspenders had become unattached. That was truly memorable! Elvis fans almost always lead to the sounding of the rat alarm. I have nothing against the "King", but his fans can be peculiar to say the least. Body odor and proud porn customers always justified a hardy squeeze of the rat. (Proud porn customers were those who showed no shame when announcing their adult title selections very loudly.) Luckily, the customers in question never caught on to the sound of a squeal or two emanating from behind the counter. But to us the staff, it was a reassuring way to offer solidarity to each other in times of great peril!
2 comments:
"McNair...the rat!" Wasn't that a "1776" quote perverted to our own purposes? Now that this blog has successfully covered the perverse (Video and d'animal)and the grotesque (Decaying Woman), I hope soon it will cover a story where staff or customers may have actually felt imperiled or in physical danger from a customer action/confrontation. ORF
I think there was a higher proportion of freaks when the store was in Drexel Hill than when it was in Broomall. Thursday nights were especially bad, for some reason. MU is one of many experiences that have caused me to avoid working with the public at all costs.
On an unrelated note, who has "the tape," and when will it be posted to youtube.com?????
JN
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