By David Bjorkgren
Once upon a time there was the story of Snow White. One day, a film production company, recognizing the marketing and profit margin potential of the popular Brothers Grimm tale, took it upon themselves to rewrite the story with some hip dialogue and gags, populating it with well-known faces like Julia Roberts, Nathan Lane and Armie Hammer. They threw in some obligatory CGI and foisted it upon the unsuspecting children and parents that make up the core audience of “Mirror, Mirror.”
It will no doubt be a happy ending for the filmmakers as the movie profitably works its way from big screen to computer screen. That happy ending may be more elusive for the audience, however, which will suffer through some badly written dialogue and an often flat retelling of the story.
Those looking for the innocent charm of the Disney “Snow White” will be disappointed. Those wanting their Snow White and dwarfs to have more of an edge will definitely be appeased. The film drips with a cynicism that by the end of the movie infects even the innocent Snow White.In this version of the classic tale, the king vanishes mysteriously in the woods and the queen (Julia Roberts) takes over, bleeding the kingdom dry as she maintains her opulent life style. Jealous of Snow White’s (Lily Collins) beauty, she keeps her 18-year-old daughter hidden in the palace. But after she sneaks out one night, Snow White comes across a prince (Armie Hammer) visiting the kingdom. The Queen, seeing the attention the prince gives Snow White, banishes the girl to the forest, where she meets up with a group of (do I have to tell you?) dwarfs. But these are not cuddly dwarfs. These guys have issues and attitude.
They’ve set up shop stealing from the gentry that travel through the forest and they’re bitter because the townspeople failed to act when the Queen had them banished for their “ugliness.” Naturally, Snow White’s beauty and gentle ways start to have an impact on the group of highwaymen, who, in turn, offer Snow White a kind of ninja warrior training so she can face and defeat the evil Queen, reclaiming her birthright and returning the kingdom to its former glory days.
Julia Roberts does OK camping it up as the evil Queen but it’s a one-note performance. We may be witnessing a fairy tale world here but I’d still like my characters to have a little depth. Evil on screen should be fun, not boring, but I found my mind wandering away throughout the film.
Not that I’m blaming the performers exclusively. They had very little to work with from a script that could use a bit of magic itself. The quirkiest and most interesting scenes (aside from the visual distractions of the Queen’s magical world) revolve around the seven dwarves, whose unique personalities and interactions with Snow White make for some fun distractions.
But it’s not enough to save the film from its cynical banality and forced humor. The movie’s producer, Bernie Goldman, says he’s confident the film will resonate with audiences of all ages and would like to see it take its place beside other big screen adaptations of classic tales.
“Hopefully, this is a movie that will play for years as a perennial family favorite and redefine the story of Snow White.” Goldman says in a press release on the film.
Maybe. But I’ll stick with Disney’s “Snow White,” thank you very much. I give “Mirror, Mirror” three dwarves out of seven.
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